Friday, November 26, 2010

That female gut feeling part 2

So to finish the story about my boyfriend meeting up with his ex girlfriend...

So I had previously stopped at the part where I had got my friend to go over my house and see if he was home or if his ex was there with him, she called me and told me he was there and right after she called, he called me and told me he was sleep and what did I want, I told him I only kept calling him because his car alarm wouldn't cut off and I didn't want the battery to go dead but then I finally got it cut off and that he could just call me back when he woke up because I could tell if I were to bring up the real reason I called he would get defensive like he always does so I left it alone for the moment.
I didn't talk to him for the rest of thy night because when he called me back I was already asleep, but the next day he got off of work at 2 and my sister was suppose to get married at 3, I headed over to the reception place around 2:30 to help my mom decorate for the dinner after the wedding and after that I call him and tell him how I really felt last night, that I thought he was with Emily because when I called Desmond, he said he wasn't even in Greenville...and like I knew he would he got all defensive about it then hung up on me so I'm super pissed at this point and I call him back and ask him did he hang up on me, he said yea so at that moment I just hung up on him. Ugh I felt bad cause I was now in a pissy mood and my little sister is about to get married! So I leave my phone in the car during the wedding ceremony because I knew he was gonna text me some bs and I didnt want to be reading negative text messages in middle of the wedding. After the ceremony I headed back to my car and read the txt that I knew he was going to send. He wrote we need to have a long talk about our relationship he said he doesn't want to be in a relationship with a girl that is insecure and doesnt trust him around females because I think he is cheating with every girl he txt. I stayed calm because I knew he was gonna write some bs so I just said whatever you do you I was just telling you how I felt, the whole time he was txting me it was like he kept changing up why he was mad lol like he was tryna piss me off or like he was guilty of something and was tryna find anyway possible to turn the situation around in me to make me the bad guy. I ignored him and came home late. When I got home he sat down on the couch with me and was playing with our dog, I asked him so wat you want to talk about since the last convo we had wasn't good at all, he said we don't have anything to talk about so I was like so wat was the last convo about then? He went on this long rant about how I'm insecure, super mean, how I think I'm the shit and better than everyone else but insecure if he talks to any female oh he just went on and on and I just broke down :( I believed it every word and at that moment I really thought I was just trippin the whole tome and maybe I do have a problem.
Well we made up and what not and the next day we went to walmart and I had to ask because it had been on my mind all day "what did u and Emily talk about for 1 minute the other day about since she didn't come over or u didn't meet her somewhere?" he said that he had seen her at the gym and she went in to tan and he had left and when she got out she called him to see if he had left...after I thought about it for a minute I knew something was off cause she called you a little after I had talked to you and you told me when I called you that you were in the shower? I didn't say anything though i just let it slide cause I didn't want to get an another argument. Well the weekend was finally over and I went to to work this monday. I work at a bank so I have tons of free time at work so I decided to go ahead and pay a couple of our bills. I told him i was going to pay his car insurance with his credit card, so I'm about to pay one of his bills when I saw his credit card transaction $38 to o'charleys resteraunt on nov 18, the day I had thought he was with Emily. I knew it and was right the whole fuckin time!!! So I'm at work and about to have a nervous fucking breakdown because he had made me feel bad for even thinking he would lie to me about going to dinner with her and he was lying the whole fuckin time!!!! I was so fuckin angry that I didnt know what to do, so the first thing I did was text himO'charleys resteraunt the day that I was gone. He then said yes, and I couldnt talk to him because I would have flipped out and cussed his ass out so I just hung up on him, and plus I was at work and I didnt want to make myself anymore upset because I work at the front desk and I didnt want to be crying or anything. I did however text him about how I was mad that he went to dinner with emily but that I cant stand him and was super disappointed that he lied to me about it, then we get in this text argument, and he sends me text of what emily sent him, after he told her I was mad that I found out they went out to dinner, I told him dont send me what emily said to you, im not mad at her, im mad at you. and I shouldnt have had to find out you went to dinner with your ex I shouldve already known, I told him before I didnt have any problem with him texting her but we have to have an honest relationship so no cover ups and lies because when you lie you make things 10x worse for yourself and 100x harder for me to trust you in the future. he just kept texting saying he was a liar he didnt want me to leave him, they went to dinner as friends nothing more, and he loves me blah blah blah, I was just like whatever because I didnt know what to feel at that moment and all I did feel was anger and disappointed. Well one of the tellers at my bank could tell i was not in a good mood, so she took me aside and i told her what was wrong and she told me I had the right to get mad, and that her and her husband have been married for 30 years and it took him 20 years for him to start being 100 % with her, even if it was something so small or stupid he would just not tell her or he would lie about it and she said it just takes some men a while to be completely open with the one they love because they want to be perfect for you that if they do something they know you wouldnt approve of or may not like they just wont tell you to avoid hurting your feelings and stuff. i totally understood where she was coming from but lying to me is a big no no and something I wont tolerate in my relationship. at this point she calmed me down alot and I was actually thinking in my right minds, my boyfriend was still texting me saying he loves me and he wants me to stay with him so he can prove he can tell me the truth and not be so defensive about everything.
So I made the decision because I really know he didnt tell me he went to dinner with emily is because he knows i wouldve said hell to the no and got pissed and that he was only trying to not make me mad, even though he lied and we had gone through this before, I decided to give him ONE more chance. so when I got home i told him we can try to work it out and be an honest and open couple, no secrets. I also told him lying is a no beuno and if it EVER happens again he is outta here because I am not going to keep tolerating this bullshit if you want to go to dinner with a friend thats a girl, we can sit down an discuss it, or anything you think i will get mad about we can talk about it before you lie about it to me.
So, so far I think I made the right decision and lately he has been really good and anytime i ask him anything he hasnt gotten defenisve about me asking or whatever, but we will see how he is in the long run and hopefully it wont take him 30 years to be 100 % honest with me because if some shit like this happens again it over because I mean what if someone would have seen him that night with her at dinner? Or what if my friend would have came to the door and the girl was in my house, omg I would have fuckin died and we probably wouldnt be together now, so he should be glad I found out myself before I found out by somebody else.

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  1. I'm glad you guys worked it out. However, next time remember to trust you gut instinct(did l spell that right lol) because it's always right. Hopefully they won't be a next time.
    Have a good weekend

  2. Yep your so right and there won't be a next time lol and if there is there won't be an "us" anymore cause I'm not putting up with that bull any more lol thanks for commenting :)